Pet Peeves
- People who accept your hospitality and never reciprocate it in any form; (aka. “freeloaders”) It need not be in the same form, especially if one person is richer, but something should be done in return.
- People who interrupt someone who is speaking
- People who talk or text during a performance at the theatre, movies, opera, ballet, during a speech, etc.
- People who do not write thank-you notes for hospitality, gifts, donations to their charities, sympathy letters, etc.
- People who address strangers by their first names- without permission first being given
- People who take noisy, ill-mannered children out in public, especially to nice restaurants, the theatre, stores, beauty salons, etc. and let them run loose to disturb other patrons
- Unkind gossip, especially when it’s unfounded and false
- People who show up at one’s door uninvited and unannounced and expect to come inside
- People who keep the television on in the room where guests have to come to visit and talk
- People who do not dress appropriately for the occasion. I.e. people who wear casual clothes and jeans to fine restaurants and the theatre to ruin the ambiance for those who care enough to dress appropriately.
- People who serve drinks in plastic cups or glasses indoors; the same for plastic plates.
- People who do not respond (RSVP) to invitations for anything involving hospitality (involving an outlay of money, planning, work)-- from weddings, to lunches, dinners, parties, teas etc.
Don't even think about it!
"Before truth, the right fork."
Five General Rules of Etiquette:
- When in doubt--don't.
- Do not ask personal questions.
- When speaking to someone maintain eye contact which will make him/her think he/she is the most important person in the world. NO wandering eyes at other people.
- When you are the Host or Hostess at home, or are in charge of meeting or function--always be gracious and make other people feel comfortable and very welcome. e.g. with a friendly comment, handshake or whatever is appropriate.
- Use "please" and "thank you" liberally, When travelling to other countries, learn to say these words in their language and use them often as well.
Poor Etiquette...
Dont even think about it!
This is the correct way of holding ones knife and fork.
Can you dine with the diplomats?
Course Objectives:
To prepare adults and young people to take their places in the upper echelons of society, the professions and business by subtly integrating appropriate etiquette and human relations skills that are applicable in the 21st century.
To prepare people for successful job interviews, promotions and advancement in their professions, especially where it is customary to entertain clients over meals, the theatre, etc.
To motivate participants to seek more knowledge on the subjects.
To increase the awareness of the importance of manners and provide specific skills.
To prepare executives and professionals to do business in foreign countries. Knowledge of the unique culture and value systems of each country will be covered as well as major verbal and non-verbal "faux pas" to avoid that could prevent the deal from being consummated.
All students who take courses will receive a Certificate stating that they participated in the course.
What you may not realise that you are communicating. the language of clothes, tone of voice, international non-verbal greetings (handshakes, bows, curtseys, other hand gestures:) jewelry, hats, Faux pas made by VIP's in another countries with different cultures.
THE JOB INTERVIEW:
How to conduct one. How to dress properly and behave at one. Some don'ts. No wandering eyes
"PACK YOUR MANNERS":
Especially for international travel. "The ugly American" reputation; how to change it.
What to wear "on the plane, on the train, on the bus and on the sidewalk..." and why; learn some foreign phrases; read a Guidebook. The use of American slang and colloquisms. When traveling outside of your country, please remember that it is YOU who is the foreigner, not the local gentry, and should conform to their major values! "When in Rome... do as the Romans do." This does not mean that you must run out and buy a toga, though!
THE ALMOST LOST ART OF LETTER WRITING:
Paper/stationery; when and why you should write letters socially and in business. Hand-written versus typed letters. The use of American slang and colloquisms.
EATING, DRINKING, PARTYING; Formally and Informally:
"Guests of guests may not bring guests!" The RSVP and why you MUST respect it. Smoking manners. Gum or tobacco chewing; (yikes!) My late Father said it best:
"A gum-chewing girl and a cud-chewing cow,
Are somewhat alike, yet different, some how.
Ah--I have it now--
It is the thoughtful look on the face of the cow."
COMMUNICATIONS:
Verbal, on the telephone, e-mail, cell phone, texting. Consider other people around you! Some do's and dont's. Professional guests.
OUT IN PUBLIC:
Consider where you are going and dress appropriately so as not to offend others and spoil the ambiance of a place. Dress codes should not have to be enforced--nice, people show their respect for a fine restaurant, the Opera, Ballet, Theatre, and Concerts by dressing up. Jeans are for casual places only. This also applies when going to a Friend's home for a dinner party, special luncheon etc. because they have gone to great expense and effort to entertain you. It shows respect and appreciation! If you take a Host/Hostess gift, you may get invited back again.
MANNERS AND MONEY:
"A rich man is not a poor man with more money." Asking about the cost of things. "Charm" or "Professional guests" as a coin of the realm versus "freeloaders." Borrowing and lending. Charity benefits. Recession etiquette. Starving student etiquette. The difference between 'poor' and 'broke'.
HOW TO REALLY ENJOY A NIGHT AT THE OPERA:
How to dress appropriately from the "dress circle" and founders boxes, to the "nosebleed section", Green Room, parking, when to applaud/or not (Wagner will drive you crazy). "Bravo/Brava/Bravi", flowers (no tomatoes allowed), wraps and hats, cell phones, talking, promptness, arriving and seating, who walks in front of whom, stairs, on keeping quiet between acts, and leaving a performance. This is NOT a sing-a-long! If possible, the Houston class will also attend "Opera Night Live" and a Performance.
GALA ETIQUETTE:
The joys of being a Volunteer. Responsibilities of Committee Members and Chairpersons. Responsibilities of being a Guest at a Gala. The mandatory RSVP. What to wear. (no powder blue tuxedo jackets, men!) Bidding on live auction and silent auction etiquette; (bring your platinum card or Letter of Credit if you bid on that week on a fully-staffed and stocked yacht in the Caribbean.) Who should sit where at the table. The centrepiece. Table manners at the actual Event. If there is dancing--what should you do? All of the "thank-you" notes to write and to whom .Tipping Valet Parkers (even if they changed your radio station!)
"POST GRAD" ETIQUETTE FOR SOPHISTICATES...BEYOND BEER AND BARBECUE!"
A major benefit is that "all other things being equal," the person who is delightful, polite and appreciative will "outclass the competition" in the proverbial "New York second!" This works socially and in business and the professions. It may be considered a "refresher course" for some participants.
Psychological and philosophical premises behind "existing" versus "Living." "The Good Life" and how to enjoy it. (illustrated with jokes, demonstrations, anecdotes, historical origins and cultural backgrounds.) Value System of "The Privileged." The "glass ceiling." International greetings and entertaining people from different cultures.
The joys of international travel. Appreciation of the arts. Your non-verbal self. Traditional trappings of ladies and gentlemen: personal accessories. How to achieve the correct ambiance for "a cultured home."
Pros and cons of china, crystal, silver, paper and plastic. Where locally to find the best of these items and the finest service. French, English, Russian and North American Service and table manners.
The R.S.V.P., thank-you or sympathy note on correct writing paper. Etiquette and Protocol for happy (i.e. wedding) and sad (funeral, divorce, death of a pet--oh yes, "Rover" was her "kid.") occasions. Cross-cultural and different socio-economic differences.
Recession etiquette; gifts and activities that are inexpensive yet greatly appreciated. If participants agree the class will dine at a local gourmet restaurant at pre-arranged special prices.
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